You will probably agree that since shifting more on the digital side of things, conversations have changed. Often they are proceeded with emojis or acronyms or shortened to letters like ‘k’. And, we believe that being a great conversationalist will assist you in a ton of ways.

Especially when it comes to business and influencing others to take action. Why? Because the sale is often because of the relationship.

Sure people buy out of need or necessity but,, we would also suggest that people try new things or shift spending habits because of how the ‘seller‘ makes them feel. It is about the experience, right?

So, in this post we want to give you 10 ways to hone in on those conversation skills. Because in the business of relationship marketing it is going to take a little more than ‘lol’ or, ‘k’, or ‘brb’ .. and so on.

BECOMING A GREAT CONVERSATIONALIST

 

If people feel good when they are around you, they’ll want to be around you more. People always remember how you make them feel and inspired the great Maya Angelou, they won’t always remember what you said.

Excerpt from: ‘How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life’;

“The point of conversation is to make the other person feel good.  If you do that one simple thing correctly, the other benefits come along with the deal.  For example, a person who likes you is more likely to be persuaded to recommend you for good opportunities, to share information, and to want a relationship with you.  And if you must complain, because it’s just too hard to keep it in, you’re better off complaining to someone who already likes you; that way you’ll get the empathy you want.”

RULE #1 – BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THE CONVERSATION

 

Use this opportunity to get to know the person you’re speaking to. This is not the time to be thinking about your grocery list or laundry you need to finish. When you are multi-tasking, it clearly demonstrates to the other party that you are invested in other thoughts.

Being present in your conversation is super important. And, is among one of the top rules of being a great conversationalist.

RULE #2 – BE RESPECTFUL

 

Now we are absolutely sure that you are going into your conversation with every intention of being respectful of the other person. And what is sometimes lost in this word, respect, is that it also includes not imposting our beliefs on others.

When you spend time on that genuine conversation, you will learn what they love (or don’t) and this should set some good boundaries about where to take the conversation — even if where to take the conversation means ending it.

RULE #3 – FOCUS ON POSITIVES

 

Do your best to gear your conversations into positive lights. It’s here, that your skills will be put to work of being a great conversationalist. This is often as a result of people naturally being drawn to the negative. It’s like that car crash you drive by and you know you shouldn’t look, but you do.

Do your very best to keep the conversation positive where it fits of course. Last thing you want to do is smile when someone is pouring their heart out to you, right? Be that light for people in this sometimes dark world.

RULE #4 – KEEP THEM IN THEIR BEST LIGHT

 

Remember, authenticity is always key.

What this rule refers to is being able to help the other person feel good in the conversation without it being fake or phoney. So if you are going to pay a compliment like they’re incredible or caring, confident or gifted for this industry … just be real about it.

Love on people — Breathe life into them.

RULE #5 – BE TRUE TO YOU

 

Let’s assume that you are having a conversation with someone you would love to work with in your business. Naturally, you want to stay relatable, find common interests, etc. But, do not stray too far away from who you are.

It is totally OK to have your own thoughts it’s how you share them that can make all the difference. Being unique is your gift, use it!

RULE #6 – EMBRACE YOUR DIFFERENCES

 

One of the key traits of a great conversationalist is being able to eloquently embrace your differences while building on your commonalities. Sort of goes back to the saying ‘opposites attract’.

It is OK to have different experiences, perspectives, etc. in fact, they can be quite engaging and help others step outside of their own comfort zones. We’ve worked with people who were so opposite of who we are but working with them was like the missing piece to the puzzle! Differences can be a great addition to your relationship with clients, customers and colleagues.

RULE #7 – GIVE AND TAKE

 

Sometimes, when we have an agenda outside of a conversation we can become critical or thinking too far ahead of what’s happening. Although there is a great time and place for these analytical things they can become quite discouraging mid conversation.

An excellent trait for a great conversationalist is giving others the benefit of the doubt. Let your mind put puzzle pieces together once you have the whole picture or fill in the gaps with the right questions.

RULE #8 – ASK PURPOSEFUL QUESTIONS

 

As a great follow up to rule number 7, ask questions that mean something.

Find out about what fires them up inside or what their present goals are – or if they even have any! Ask about their family or career, what entertains them of makes them laugh. Meaningful questions will almost always translate to meaningful answers.

RULE #9 – CONVERSING VS. DEBATING

 

One of the downfalls we realized early on in our career is that it is easy to slip into the business of justifying or convincing. This is particularly evident in certain industries — more so sales and home based business. It is healthy that as a great conversationalist that you can have all sorts of dialogue happening –  but watch that you don’t slip into a debate or worse, and argument.

Where there are differences that won’t meet in the middle, a great way ‘out’ is agreeing to disagree.

RULE #10 – THOSE WHO TALK LESS …

 

Our last rule of being a great conversationalist can vary based on the topic. The most amount of talking you want to be doing is 50%. However, if you are speaking to a prospect about ready to buy or a prospect about to join you in business – talk less.

A sales tip has always been whoever talks most loses .. This can be relevant in this situation just with a nicer connotation.

When the time comes for your conversation to end, let the person know you have to go, and show appreciation for the conversation. Then show you were listening by summarizing some of the major points from your talk.

For example, ‘Thanks for sharing with me about that new movie, I’m going to have to check it out!’

Finally, set the stage for future conversations with them. And then actually follow up.

Let us know if these tips were helpful and as always, share them with someone you know who will benefit too!

You will probably agree that conversations have changed since shifting to the digital side of things. So often, they are proceeded with emojis or acronyms or shortened to letters like ‘k.’ And we believe that being a great conversationalist will assist you in many ways. 

Especially when it comes to business and influencing others to take action. Why? Because the sale is often because of the relationship.

Sure, people buy out of need or necessity, but we suggest they try new things or shift spending habits because of how the ‘seller ‘makes them feel. But, again, it is about the experience, right? 

So, in this post, we want to give you ten ways to hone in on those conversation skills. Because in the relationship marketing business, it will take a little more than ‘lol’ or, ‘k,’ or ‘brb’.. and so on.

BECOMING A GREAT CONVERSATIONALIST

 

People who feel good when they are around you will want to be around you more. People always remember how you made them feel and inspired the great Maya Angelou; they won’t always remember what you said. 

Excerpt from: ‘How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life;

“The point of conversation is to make the other person feel good. If you do that simple thing correctly, the other benefits come with the deal. For example, a person who likes you is more likely to be persuaded to recommend you for good opportunities, to share information, and to want a relationship with you. And if you must complain because it’s just too hard to keep it in, you’re better off complaining to someone who already likes you; that way, you’ll get the empathy you want.”

RULE #1 – BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THE CONVERSATION

 

Use this opportunity to get to know the person you’re speaking to. This is not the time to think about your grocery list or laundry you need to finish. When you are multi-tasking, it demonstrates to the other party that you are invested in other thoughts. 

Being present in your conversation is super important. And is among one the top rules of being a great conversationalist.

RULE #2 – BE RESPECTFUL

 

Now we are sure you are going into your conversation to respect the other person. And what is sometimes lost in this word, respect, is that it also includes not imposing our beliefs on others. 

When you spend time on that genuine conversation, you will learn what they love (or don’t), and this should set some good boundaries about where to take the conversation — even if it means ending it. 

RULE #3 – FOCUS ON POSITIVES

 

Do your best to gear your conversations into positive lights. In these conversations, your skills will be put to work being a great conversationalist. Unfortunately, this is often a result of people naturally being drawn to the negative. It’s like that car crash you drive by, and you know you shouldn’t look, but you do. 

Do your very best to keep the conversation positive where it fits, of course. The last thing you want to do is smile when someone is pouring their heart out to you, right? Be that light for people in this sometimes dark world.

RULE #4 – KEEP THEM IN THEIR BEST LIGHT

 

Remember, authenticity is always crucial. 

What this rule refers to is being able to help the other person feel good in the conversation without it being fake or phoney. So if you will pay a compliment like they’re incredible or caring, confident or gifted for this industry … be honest about it.

Love on people: Breathe life into them. 

RULE #5 – BE TRUE TO YOU

 

Let’s assume that you are having a conversation with someone you would love to work with within your business. Naturally, you want to stay relatable, find common interests, etc. But do not stray too far away from who you are. 

It is OK to have your thoughts; how you share them can make all the difference. Being unique is your gift; use it! 

RULE #6 – EMBRACE YOUR DIFFERENCES

 

One of the critical traits of a great conversationalist is being able to embrace your differences while building on your commonalities eloquently. Again, it goes back to the saying opposites attract. 

It is OK to have different experiences, perspectives, etc.; they can be pretty engaging and help others step outside of their comfort zones. We’ve worked with people who were so opposite of who we are but working with them was like the missing piece to the puzzle! Differences can be a great addition to your relationship with clients, customers and colleagues. 

RULE #7 – GIVE AND TAKE

 

Sometimes, when we have a plan outside of a conversation, we can become critical or think too far ahead of what’s happening. Although there is a great time and place for these analytical things, they can become quite discouraging mid-conversation. 

An excellent trait for a great conversationalist is giving others the benefit of the doubt. Let your mind put puzzle pieces together once you have the whole picture, or fill in the gaps with the right questions.

RULE #8 – ASK PURPOSEFUL QUESTIONS

 

As an excellent follow-up to rule number 7, ask questions that mean something. 

Find out what fires them up inside, their present goals, or if they even have any! Ask about their family or career, what entertains them or makes them laugh. Meaningful questions will almost always translate to meaningful answers.

RULE #9 – CONVERSING VS. DEBATING

 

 

One of the downfalls we realized early on in our career is that it is easy to slip into the business of justifying or convincing. This is particularly evident in specific industries — sales and home-based business. As a great conversationalist, it is healthy that you can have all sorts of dialogue happening – but watch that you don’t slip into a debate or, worse, an argument. 

Where there are differences that won’t meet in the middle, a great way ‘out‘ is agreeing to disagree.

RULE #10 – THOSE WHO TALK LESS …

 

Our last rule of being a great conversationalist can vary based on the topic. The most amount of talking you want to be doing is 50%. However, talk less if you are speaking to a prospect about ready-to-buy or an opportunity to join you in business. 

A sales tip has always been whoever talks most loses. This can be relevant in this situation, with a more excellent connotation.

When the time comes for your conversation to end, let the person know you have to go and show appreciation for the discussion. Then show you were listening by summarizing some of the significant points from your talk.

For example, ‘Thanks for sharing with me about that new movie. I’m going to have to check it out!’

Finally, set the stage for future conversations with them. And then actually follow up.

Let us know if these tips were helpful, and share them with someone you know who will benefit too!